Keeping It Weird & 100.

My brain is a piece of shit right now...(a conglomerate of my clusterfucked perspective)

Meddling in muddy memories and the musky mundane. Mostly missed messages and mixed momentos. Drafts that were lost in the shuffle. Enjoy.

--What's one to do with nothing to lose? Find himself again, as they say. They say a moment can last forever, and a picture is worth a thousand words. I've pictured myself lost in forever, trying to find the elusive piece to the big ol' pie in the sky. And so far I've merely come to the conclusion that I'm a pensive putz that needs to put the pen to paper and work a wage or wager. A bet, I get nothing out of it. More mash and trash to occupy my letdown experiment. I'm pissed at this. well, piss off. the pissing contest has lost all the kick. the piss was taken out of the joke. i feel like somewhere in there, there's some urine on your face. call r kelly as soon as the flow stops.

 --I Gotta go, to get back to getting on the get down. I must find my footing of reason, reason being that I have lost all sight of it. I look down and my pedals are churning wayward waters. My mouth mends, maws the mightily morbid, a simple syrup based sordid sorbet of succulence and succint blink and you missed it visage of the most mystic message of hope. A dope that thinks that love lasts forever. Love. Life. I linger while loathing the lot of both. Love life; at least trying to love the lie. I've been choking back the tears of dear friends missed, miss you much and I wish things were different, but wishing, only delays the inevitable kick. That none of it matters as time decays...

 --Well, well, well...I'm quite capable of confirming that my crass crash into craziness is coming to a confounding conundrum, currently and continuing kooks, clicks of the clock. Can't keep kicking ideas out of the office. Posh is such a bitch. But definitely the hottest Spice Girl. Switch back to basic bases of basement thoughts. From the depth of darkness...DARKNESS!!!!

Toodles Doodlebugs. I'll get back to it. Pinky promise. Chop off the little digit if I don't.

Don't touch him Tommy. He's a fucking leper...

Happy happy happy!!! Joy joy joy!!! A whole city's worth. Halfhearted, meaningless joy.

At least that's how I've felt as of late. Late nights bleed into bleak yet bright days, painted blue and Green and sheens of shine that I can't define. It's all been a wash, hogwash, and the blend of hues sooth not my soul, nor my palette of controlled chaos that I injest on the regular. No plus for this old Bessie, and certainly no super for the supa...my engine is coughing up its last fumigated fucks and funks as we speak...who am I speaking to? Dont speak unless spoken to. Oh bloody hell... Finding fuel fills this fools fiddling time. 123 make a wish. Mines that I won't be up at 321. Guess its a pipedream now that I've let the cat out of the bag.

--Son, you're gonna have to put that cat back in the bag...

Like hell I am. Nobody puts baby Gouda in the corner. Well, I guess this time they did. And let me tell you, the corner sucks huge balls. Nothing but cobwebs and cancelled dreamstates. Big fat testes.

Rest easy, for tomorrow shines bright again. Don't forget to call yo momma and ask for the damn meatloaf. Keeps em on their toes.

Toodles doodle bugs. Good bye you gumdrops and Grumps. Ease up a touch. Appreciate the worst and best in everything. If you see the solar streaks beaming through the clouds...they're poisonous UV rays that may kill you at some point. But hot loving in the summer time, the vit D feels marvelous. Get out there and cook a little. Who doesn't like their chicken skin crispy? The glass is half full folks. Cheers.

It’s been a long time coming…

But sooner or later I have to rise from this muck. FUCK people.
I’m sorry, I meant, Puck me running (Puck you Miss), but dagnabbit, when’s the change gon’ come? Seems I am succumbing to the end of my head’s threads.


My menial mental fibers find no gaps to synapse…I engage only in flightless fantasies, void of the toys and boyhood aspirations of doing it BIG



Clipped wings? Pssh, I mislead my own two feet; even pedestrian dreams now slowly stroll away from me.

Where did the moonshine’s magnificence migrate? Warmer waters out west way, with the Internet they say. There’s enough world wide web and lunar lumiere out there for everyone. Far as the mind’s eye can see, by opened dares to believe that you can connect with someone in Vietnam for a quickie of Mortal Kombat.

You ssshtupid sshon of a bitch…

Which gets me to thinking…I don’t think nearly enough nowadays.

-I’m a dumbass.

-The term is Dumass.
-No, it’s poofter, a perfect prism of pitifully past due potential…

Oh, get on with, you fucking wanker.

Alright, I'll wager, meh, merely a small sentiment for those still suffering through these rants and rambles: I attest that I can get out of this flim flam floozy of a mind toozy. Right the ship, no more with this stupid shit...you know, finesse the -ness again. Get back to doing the deeds and do's that ease the blues, ya heard?!?!?

Word, bird.



It’s not all for none and dropped the ball. Nothing is fucked here Dude. Everybody knows, it’s all about the Redemption Song. Bootstraps and callbacks and falling into place. Realizing the wrongs and fixing broke remains. Who knows what kind of magic the moments bring if you don’t live em? So I’ll give in. Take a leap of faith, face the music of the change.



It’s a quite wonderful ascension into the clouds. Don't I know it. These are the tunes that take your breath away. These are the days that I've been missing. Give me the taste, give me the joy of feeling fine.

There's something missing from my life...

Maybe it's a direction.

Not all those who wander are lost, you say? Well, I'm pretty far off the fuckin' reservation at this juncture. Tonto wouldn't venture out to find my lost soul. Sad silly clown, this clumsy klutz can't kick the crack rocks.



It certainly feels like as much sometimes. Overwhelmed with my misguided gumption, I merely romp & ramp up my rump, jingle a jangle to pump up the volume...only to ascertain these rifts fall on deaf ears. Mudderfukker. I'm the epitome of a putz, perfected to a P.



I feel sucker punched, blindsided by a dirtied veil of casual happiness. Seems like the ruse has come and gone and I'm left sitting here, freaking out cause I don't want to open the box...



Oh, you know damn well what's in the box. Everybody does; they always have. It's the inevitable, the sultry yet shallow next chapter for this silly, star-crossed simpleton. What a stupid schmuck he's is. Shuckles Chuck, she done swooped my football for the last time...



Roadhouse.


There's a perfect hue to the dew outside today. Dammit, the decay would stick splendidly to your skin in such an atmosphere. Blasted zombies, this is your weather pattern. This is your time to shine. Drats.



I had a go 'round this morn thinking about liminal states, the space between two pointed perspectives. I again find myself in this in between. My life seems to THRIVE in the grey. Uncertainty is my plaything. Or is that flipped; does the constant chaos spin me sideways? Someone's a' tickling a fiddle, that's for damn sure.

Where will you find me next?



Wake up the gimp (Shudder...ewwww...)

Who knows? Who knows what tomorrow will bring...maybe sunshine, and maybe rain...But as for me I'll wait and see
And maybe it'll bring my
DREAMS
to me.

Who knows.

Press the button, get a treat. But don't pull the lever...

or you're gonna get fried.

These days get long and 'duntant. REfresh my memory; why do I do this dumb deed on the daily?

BEEP!!!!.

"Hi, is this Mr. Sheep? Good morning, Mr. Sheep!!! Well, I'm the Wolf in your clothing. And I was just looking to steal your soul...right, right, don't you worry, my pack of scavengers will devour you soon enough. Oh, what's that? 30 year fixed, FHA? Swell..."

Ding!!!

I can't think about a damned do or don't in my dumps, can you dig it? The office has spaced my mental capacity to the point I'm pointed at nothing t'all or small. I'm indifferent, ambivalent, and awful, blase...I really need to rejuvenate my -ness...

But I am le tired...



Wake yo ass up!!! It's time for a revolution bitches...




Clearly, I'm a little scattered nowadays. I must say, It's a fun sort of lost...but tiresome and without worth. Won't someone, or something, bring me back into FUCKUS.
--"That's what I was thinking..."
"She said FOCUS."

Whatever.

WHOOP-DEE-DO!!! What does it all mean, Basil?

It means that my whole life smells like shit.

It IS shit Casey.

Oh, good, then it IS just me.


I have to get my fuckwad self a-moving a-long. Seems the general consensus is that failure, disappointment, and sense of self pity is what I've got to work from. Yet the glass is half full and all that jazz. Gotta keep that clause close, cause the clock is tocking and CLICK...there's no more ticks left.

Time's up.




Ding.



After you wake, I'll be waiting awash in a wash of waste. What do you want to do then, with this vex of hexed jest? Enjoy what is, whatever it is. Probably nothing but fluff and follies. However dreary or droning the days, dream despite the dread and deceit.

I have EXORCISED the demons!!!!!!!

When did I transgress to the dark side? Yoda would not approve of my current Padawan deviation...when did it become par for the course to be such a fuckwad? 'cause I'm hitting the greens with the steady hand of Arnie...



& it's frustrating to high hell.

Satisfaction, I can't get me no...satisfaction...




I swear to JimBob in the sky, if I get called a hipster one more time I might get a pair of Wayfarers just to shove them up your ass. No fixies here fuck'tards. I toss together an outfit & suddenly I listen to MGMT & drink moustachioed PBRs. Nothing wrong with the 'stache...You stupid son of a bitch.




Ah, do I miss my <3. Can't wait to return to the glorious & great, the incomparable...



But, getting back to the story at hand...


Why do I do the things I do? Where is my peace of mind, body & soul? How now do I continually disappoint my kin and comrades? "Man is fickle when Ease comes to Him after Difficulty." I don't expect an easy ride; not after my faults, follies and FUBARs. I've done some terrible things in my day, & I deserve the storm that currently shakes my foundation.

I AM SO SORRY. I know I've done you wrong.

Hopefully the day will shine anew when all is said & done. Peaks & valleys & all that jazz. Speaking of, hope you've enjoyed Mr. Davis' lovely ambiance. Felt rather fitting.

I hope this catches you in a better place than I currently reside.

Ciao for now.

Where did the madness go???? Won't you help me find it???

I need a kick in the teeth. Or a touch of sasparilla. Perhaps a Mexican standoff for good measure. Make sure to look at the line eye level, too much standoffishness and you're a smug son of a bitch. Not enough and you're a poofta. Ask Scuba Steve. However, stumble onto the right mix and Tarantino will take the shit and put it in his moviefilms. The tension's so thick I could cut it with cake. MMMMM cake. I'm a deprived fatty. I want some sugar water...


Why can't I find my clarity of character? I'm completely confused concerning what I am and do and did and dag nabbit, I can hear the early morning sprinklers wetting down the dawn's dew. Fuck I need some R&R...Carpe Diem, okay, you looked hot in it...do you like Billie Holiday??? I love him. I think I have more Clueless quotes than your average bear. RAWR mofo.

Seems there hasn't been enough inspiration radiating from my peripherals lately. I need to find the fringe benefits of funds, fun, and fondue. fondant isn't fun. who wants a cake with a layer you can't eat? give me the pure...just attach it to my veins...


I'll add a touch of the two step later. I have to get on the good foot and do the bad thing...ya, ya, ya, ya heard?!?!?!?!?

I wear the Purple Crown...

...or so I've been told. I really don't know how to take that. Am I the martyr the world has been missing? I've already tried dying for nothing, surely I can muster dying for a noble cause. Well, nobility is relative I suppose...as is everything we recognize in life. Time, love, hate, space, existence, its all about how you take it. I take the strides in stress. God, if only I could let go of my woes.

My grandma summed it up to me seeking out ANYTHING to quell boredom. If I get bored, I get crazy. Instead, I stay loopy on the locks of "love" I am constantly trimming for the needy. I feel greedy, yet I want nothingness. Except to lose my reliance on the dinero.

God, I am in a constant drain of dreariness when concerned with the greenbacks. I know, it's a constant topic...it's due to the fact it's CONSTANTLY on my mind. Hopefully the ZZZZs will return when I get out of debt. If not, well...we'll see what the consequences are...

Anyway, here's the Amazon description of the definitive text regarding the Purple Crown theory: "The Purple Crown: The Politics of Martyrdom...Tripp York exhibits how Christianity's ultimate act of witnessing, martyrdom, is an inherently political act. By refusing to accept such modern dichotomies such as mind/body, sacred/secular, and the public/private, York argues that the path of Christianity cannot but lead to a confrontation with the same powers that crucified Jesus. The martyrs as ones who die like Christ bring forth, via memory, the moment in which all the world was simultaneously exposed as fallen and redeemed. York explores this theme historically, theologically and through biography, such as in the recent martyr Oscar Romero."

I don't like this. NOT AT ALL.

No one's been reading this jargon, and if you have, I know and apologize as this post is garbage. Don't worry, I am getting back into the swing of things, I just got somewhat lost in the last few weeks...trust me, I have tons of turmoil on tap. I'm about to let it seep to the surface. Shit should be delicious. Wait and watch.

I love this little guy...

Rule #1: Cardio. My mind's running...

I am having these dreams. Awful dreams. I don't need to get into them in this late hour, but rest assured that Paranormal Activity is VERY slow and minuscule compared with the camaraderie I'm keeping. It's keeping me at bay, staying here and here alone. I shoulda woulda coulda had a casey boost, but I didn't get out of the house ALL DAY. awful biz. shits and kids. thrown together in a toaster. tucked into bed. taptap. rapped across the fingers with a feather. whether or not you get it, i know you'll tilt your head. REALLY?!?!?!??!?!



I love this whole blog thing. It has been a jumping off point. I now feel attuned to the fix that can fix my life...I'd been wasting my life and time on this beast of a mechanismo cheesmo. now, the 'puter is my FRIEND. Hello neighbor...

Creeper.

Armed and dangerous.



Those would be my attributes. I don't keep weapons. I'm weapon enough. But I do know where to go in the event of a zombie attack. It's awesome. Some friends and I had a simple little pow wow. And wow, we're ready freddy...I like what they did with the Elm Street lore in the remake, however weird/surprising that is. My bloody brother was born on the birth of the film for crying out loud. the 25th of september tempted the world to mcquillan madness. a few years removed from the cheesy storm. cloudy and the ice cream's was coming. no one loves the sweets like the creep. im gonna scarf this gelato with the quickness. then its more of the same. shame. i wish i could get up and START CONVERSATING. Bacon, swiss, and avocado....you like the avo too? let's talk. over wine. red, red. cause the white's too light for me.

A Subtle Sublimation of Sorts

Am I completely lost? I don't know what's up or down. Am I headed for my destruction...shit, aren't we all, in varying speeds?

My economic struggles have started to spill into my everything. Love what pennies you have. 'Cause I sure as shit don't have em. Give me 4 Gs and a glock, or 8 and a machete. It costs more to be more personal. Don't fret though; I'll twist the blade for the extra $$$$$. If anyone's looking for Leon: The Professional, look no further. That's real talk, but please don't think I need help.

Ha!!!!!

...please...

the last thing I need is to tell my tale any more than I already have. If you've been within earshot of my soul recently, you've heard the whole of it in all the dreariness and glory that I embody in my pensive nature. Someone recently said I live life wholeheartedly. Shit, who doesn't? I give my EVERYTHING to EVERY thing, and leave nothing for ME. Is that why I feel so hollow in this magic moment?

NO ONE sees my world. It's so beautiful that you're blinded. The darks of my eyes bask in the shining pain.

Many situations have given reason to cause for the pause in my life. Yet, by my own design and the current state of affairs, I can't stop, won't stop. I only wish these nights that turned to days would be better facilitated than by catching up on Daily Show and Colbert. Granted, these two gentlemen do more to inform the country then any news entity could ever dream at this point...but I crave something zestier, an enterprise worthy of Jean-Luc Skywalker. Is that incestuous, or cross breeding, or just plain re-donk-ulous? The Millenium Falcon piloted by Klingons? Shit, hyperdrive or warp speed? I choose LUDICROUS SPEED...

I'll keep posting em, and you'll keep posted to the goods. Soon enough this might be my only networking outlet. MyTwitter Face (*thank Tyke Witnes for that little play on words) will surely usher in our world's downfall...

I already see in your eyes that you can't bear to look into mine but for a second's lapse as we walk down the streetside. If only you would let me see the beauty that floods from within...

Well, I'll write more later. I need to drink some tea and go on a stroll. Toodles doodle bug.

***** UPDATE: LOOK AT THE CALENDAR SECTION UNDER THE MUSIC PLAYER. I'll try to keep the public informed about my tasty treats. *****

Clarity came calling...& I accepted the charges.

This will be my first walk where I don't feel lost. I feel FOUND. I feel ALIVE. I know me again.

I can't specify precisely when and where it hit me. Just a little stroll in the cold and I felt tingles. Not from the chill, more from the thrill. Heart racing gooberfest. Splenderific Fandubulous Magnifitastically good times were had by all (shit, I hope anyway...).

As I finally let myself into autopilot earlier (I NEEDED to rest), I took a deep breath. Mmmmmm, chamomile... I love my Herbal heat pad. Relieves stress in the neck, PLUS it's great for menstrual cramps. It's the little things in life...

Art has no boundaries. A smile is art, however fleeting. Please smile...for me?

:) ...a priceless work...

Drugs aren't necessary, or necessarily fun, but they sure as shit can be. Take too many and the ambulances have to pick your ass up. Take too few and you're left with a headache. I like my porridge just right...

Brunch IS NOT brunch without the booze. The warmth doesn't come merely from the maple. You need to get some of that southern sauce, ya dig? CAN YOU DIG IT??????

Claustrophobia and Lovefest are mortal enemies. Lovefest is a moral shitshow. And I am a total creeper...I musta asked 35 people if I could see their shirt tags...you gotta know who's designs you dig.

Well, the streets are calling my name. I don't have my trusty peacoat, but alas, I will find a way.

Let's proceed into the darkness...

Endure what's disgusting, then appreciate what's beautiful.

Another gorgeous day. Another bout of 2 hours of ZZZZZZZs. Please. I love the dos equis. Keeps me living, laughing at the leafs flying high.

Shit's about the get bonkers.

Ready for a ruckus? Me too :)

I don't have the time or piece/peace of mind at this CURRENT juncture.

Rest assured, the gutters have been home to the cheese. I reek. PPPPPPPPPP-EWWWWWW, you gross motherfucker.

Great pictures, tons of funny and fucking potent stories. A tear, perhaps, if you have a heart (Crybaby Walker'll give me one...just one...). Yet if I take a second and look, in the mosaic of life, I'm forming something from magic. How do you put a price tag on this shit????

Don't worry, I'll call Howard. See you tomorrow SF. Hi OC. Ugh... :)

This is why our society is fucked. Starving kids and Kim Kardashian...It's a beautiful morning...

Fucking sheep. Bah your way to the bank. I need a drink, a bowl, a syringe, and some high fructose corn syrup. It's stronger than the streets.

I've been waiting in Montauk...

I dont know where I'm headed. The dark side's been calling my name, and I seem to hear it now.

I walked into my abode greeted by Tony putting some hits down. But no women or children. Fuck principles during times like these...I'll do the worst of the worst for four Gs and a few laughs. Cause you have to be lighthearted about these things...

Aren't the most disgusting moments quite beautiful upon reflection? When your guts are wrenched, your soul is crushed, and you smell the earth around you dying with your breaths...the very thought both chills and enthralls me. Well, needless to say, I've been smothered in gorgeously fucked scenarios. And I glow from within.

I am literally a walking calamity. A mammoth mess of mixed up misery and mashed potatoes. I need some gravy baby. I would say it's all gravy. I'm frankly not on Frank's good foot. Fucking Frankie...fugitiboutit.

My iPhone is my Abu....stealing shit, keeping it real, tipping the hat as it goes...I've been without my crew. I am in need of a Jasmine cause spice is oh so nice, but even a rug would do. Genie, stay in your bottle baby. I've enough tomfoolery for the lot of us.

Where does the time slip away? I am absolutely certain that I am absolutely clueless on the subject. I think it's a gem of my personality. Fashionable and time management don't correspond with me. I am more of the fucking backwards asshole, gets there as you cut the last slice of cake kind of cat. It's a sweet chunk of pastry heaven. Heaven only knows...yea...Legend is legendary, especially in times like these. And times like those. Jack suspends the bends of my happy and sad. And just subdues the do. Not the Dew. Don't do it...drink Sprite...GRANT HILL DRINKS SPRITE!!!!


I am in a constant flux of fucked fandangling. Why oh why, you devilish dog? Why am I prescribed a dose or twenty of plenty of hate. Out the gates, grounded in the dust, dirty and demoralized, jockey tossed. Bring out the cart. This one's toast. Coast to Coast. Spacing, cause I feel Spaced. Simon Pegg, anyone?
(Spaced...It's the stuff before Shaun of the Dead.) It's pure. It's real good. And people will continue to sleep. Fucking zombies. Mouthbreathers.







I need to figure out how to harness my chi. Right now it encompasses and charges through me, much like the spirits take Whoopi to town in Ghost...

I suddenly must take a moment of pause. Swayze was...no, will always be a legend. I live in Joy in my City, and I don't even need a rickshaw...I do need a hand up though. Been losing limbs as you cringe cause you can't stand to be beside me. I sigh as I let another finger go.

Here's looking at you, kid. sound bite

I don't know a damn thing about nothing. I ain't seen nothin' no sir. Word? words are garble. They don't mean a bit of what they're worth. I can create some immaculate prose and have it overlooked, and then stutter through a travesty of social scrutiny getting judged, pidge podged and dodged by all those around me. I am a particular breed indeed.

Where has the time gone? Again I harp a pluck or 47 for each beautiful tone you give, oh you cruel world. Check up the ball...

The Cable Guy-Let's Do This sound bite

Poofta.

A Ba, a Ba, a Ba...a Billy Boy...

For my brother, forever scarred by clowns. :)

I trust no one when we're driving at night...

Not even my Mom. Shit's real.